


The Lost Files

by META_mahn



Series: Hope Project [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Prequel, gonna add more tags later, kinda lazy to drag this chain on, so meh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-08-30 02:58:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8515891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/META_mahn/pseuds/META_mahn
Summary: The fated journey through the Underground is at a close. But with the breaking of the Barrier, comes a new story. Delve into the rabbit hole that was the man named Gaster, through his notebook and into his mind. See from his eyes how the monster kingdom achieved its golden age, and then came crashing down like a house of cards.





	1. Prelude

**-Frisk-**

I creaked open the door when the mailman rang the bell. It was a paper-sized FedEx package.

"What is it?" Chara yawned. She woke up at eight. On the other hand, I woke up at seven, helped mom cook our breakfasts, and was already chugging away at page 50 of the huge packet the US Government called Ambassador 101: Your Crash Course to Diplomacy when the mail came.

It was addressed from Sans. I brought it to the kitchen table, where Chara enjoyed still-warm breakfast sausage (thank fire magic and heat retention wards) while I took a knife and opened it up.

On top was a note from Sans, devoid of his usual goofy and jokester manner. It read, "KID-I managed to crack open the seals on Gaster's notebook. Give it a read."

"What is it?" Chara asked, her mouth full of sausage and scrambled eggs.

I carefully examined the rest of the contents. It was the old notebook we found, all right, but now with strange, alien lettering across it. Somehow, I knew it to mean-

"Entry and study." I said.

"Huh? What is that even mean?" Chara asked.

"I have no idea. I think I'll take a break from studying US Government materials to read this, though." I replied. I took the binder upstairs. Asgore was already working away in his office, talking with some of the local officials on a group call to get the entirety of Mount Ebott and a little distance around it as space for a monster city. And judging by the sounds from the bathroom, it sounded like Asriel was just getting around to drying himself off. Oh, how painful it must be to be a furry boss monster in the morning.

I carefully opened the binder. The spine crackled, like it wasn't opened for centuries.

"Entry Number: null."

* * *

If you are reading this, I am dead.

If you are reading this, my task is also complete.

Confusing? I hope not. In the case that you are confused, allow me to explain myself.

My name is Gaster. And I believe I know you, whoever that is reading. But old habits die hard, I suppose. I am getting too far ahead of myself.

I am the first royal scientist. And I was tasked with breaking the barrier, through whatever means necessary. I am the most knowledgeable monster on the subject of souls. The Dreemurr family barely scratches the eggshell, no matter how bright the two children are. That girl is quite something, though…

But Sans and Papyrus? They're hardly a tenth, combined. Even Alphys-Alphys-that one who supposedly continued my research-she doesn't know half of what I know.

Still here? Good.

Welcome to my personal abyss. I sincerely hope it does not gaze back.


	2. Logs - 1

**File 001**

**Monster Year 201[X] AD (After Defeat)**

**Date: 15th of Aquarius**

**Subject: Break the Barrier.**

To break the Barrier, we need the equivalence of seven human souls. Monsters are not powerful enough. With all monster souls combined, we only have one humans' worth of souls.

This will not do.

I will puzzle over this problem.

I will solve this problem. My instruments are sharp. My wits, sharper. I am Gaster, and I will not be so easily be defeated by human magic.

Our echo flower-based scanning methods prove to be...insufficient on the Barrier. I have told my lab assistants to develop better scanning methods.

I will accomplish my objective.

Monster Year 201[X] AD (After Defeat)

Date: 20th of Aquarius

Subject: The Barrier

In five days' time, we have developed new technologies, not based off of the weak echo flower technology we had before. Instead, we have discovered something...very, very, interesting.

I will call this new power "electricity." Derived from scientific studies, we have discovered how it works. It appears to work as substitutes for magic in some of our scanning methods. Perhaps, we can study it more. But the Barrier takes priority.

Our best magicians have taken a crack at the Barrier's encoding. Six of them have gone insane. The seventh delved too deep, and killed himself. The eighth, however, relayed back important information, although she is suffering severe mana burns. The doctors think she won't be casting the impressive spells she used to be able to do anymore. A shame, but she has been compensated abundantly for her service.

The Barrier is a modified anti-magic field. Quite clever of the humans, if I have to be honest. Humans have always been quite the ingenious race. I would like to study them someday…

Argh. Curse my always-fleeting mind. Back to the Barrier. A normal anti-magic field nullifies all magic in that area. However, the humans have reversed the polarization on the anti-magic field, trapping all magic in the Underground. They then strengthened the effect, repulsing magic away from its walls. This explains that mysterious pushing force that feels like wind the Barrier emits when we get too close to it. The Barrier is blowing magically-charged particles away from it.

However, this still does not explain another portion of the Barrier...we can still reach the very edge of the Barrier, but it feels like a smooth wall.

More study is required. As I write, my assistants are jotting every note they have about the Barrier.

And this "electricity…" it could prove to be very, very, useful.

* * *

**Monster Year 201[X] AD **(After Defeat)****

**Date: 22nd of Libra**

**Subject: Plausible Methods**

We are not getting seven human souls by random chance. I can say that with near one-hundred percent certainty. There is always that tiny sliver of odds, as denoted by chaos theory.

However, with this new 'electricity,' I have custom-ordered many, many machines. These machines will allow me to deduce the fundamental aspects of the reality we live in. They are unparalleled scanning devices.

We are much farther ahead in technology at this point, compared to the humans. I doubt, with the humans' internal bickering, they even managed to reach this new "electricity" concept. I bet that the humans are still trapped in a dark age. But this is to be expected from the humans' disunified state. I, however, do respect how humanity bands together when times call for it…

Again, my mind decides to take a tangent. Methods for getting across the Barrier.

I have thought about treating the Barrier like a normal wall of sorts. If we cannot break the wall, we will go around the wall, or go under, or above the wall. Previous experiments have confirmed that the Barrier is, indeed, a pill shape surrounding Ebott. We renovated those tunnels into living space for future monsters, as well as fungus farms and magical processing to create food.

However, what if we could tunnel through something else instead? What if we instead thought of the universe as a sheet of fabric, and folded it inwards, so that we could traverse the Barrier in a single step? The latter idea may be insane.

And, what if we could fabricate human soul equivalents? What if we took what made humans so strong, and used it in monsters?

Many ideas. I do not know what to do.

* * *

**Monster Year 201[X] AD **(After Defeat)****

**Date: 23rd of Aries**

**Subject: HUMAN**

Human.

A human fell.

Her name is Chara.

The royal family has adopted her as their child. Perhaps, I could convince them to let me study her…

Of course, I will try to remain "humane." I will study her, within the boundaries of morality. She is a subject, Gaster. She is to be kept alive and sane. No dissections. No.

Even though she seems to be confused, there's an air of...something about her. At first glance, when I gave her a medical exam, she was covered in small nicks and scars, denoting a rough life on the surface. Yet the entire time, she was not looking at me, or daydreaming like most patients and subjects. She expressed a sort of studiousness and intelligence that I did not expect in a child her age. This strange red notebook, and this dagger, also appeared to be something of value to her...when I asked her to put them down, she refused to. The dagger I understand for safety purposes, but the notebook...I don't understand.

It seems irrational. Or maybe, it is perfectly rational.

She is an interesting specimen...SUBJECT, Gaster. SUBJECT. Not specimen. She is not to be probed and examined intrusively, like an animal. She is to be examined at her comfort, assuming Asgore even allows me to.

I let my assistants loose today for a bit as well. I used the spare funds from the budget to buy some alcohol. Personally, I don't understand it. Alcohol muddles the mind and slurs the tongue, why would anyone want to drink it?

The human seems confused yet curious, and glad that she is away from the surface. What for? I may try to discover.

Psychology exams are a must. Perhaps, some substance tests and such could warrant as well.

This human is very, very, interesting. I know someone is reading this. What do you think?


	3. Human Experimentation Approval

As decreed in the year AE 201[X], on the 1st of Taurus, I, King Asgore Dreemurr, hereby give permission to Doctor W.D. Gaster the right to "medically examine" my adopted daughter, Chara Dreemurr.

Doctor W.D. Gaster is allowed to do as follows:

-Perform basic health checkups.

-Evaluate mental states.

-Extract various bodily substances.

-Test experimental medicines.

-Measure physical capabilities via lab testing.

-Scan for magical fields using non-intrusive procedures.

I trust Doctor W.D. Gaster's morality on all written accounts. I have discussed with him the way I wish for him to conduct his medical examinations.

Signed,

Asgore Dreemurr

W.D. Gaster


	4. Logs - 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Was reading too much Soul Dichromatism and The All Guardsmen Party. Almost forgot to upload.)

**Monster Year 201[X] AE (After Exploration)**

**Date: 3rd of Taurus**

**Subject: Human Exam #1**

Today marks the day I finally get to study the human a little, aside from the injury healing I had to perform.

The human appears to be slightly nervous, yet still has that bright glimmer of sorts in her eyes. She came in, scrawling notes in a little red notebook. She spoke in the human language of "French." Very tight-lipped. However, she did open up a little bit later. She wore ceremonial gowns when she first fell. Perhaps due to a ritual, was my first guess. Later questions debunked this postulate.

Today, however, she wore pants and a long-sleeved, striped shirt. Very hardy and rational clothing, suitable for any climate, provided modifications were performance on the spot. Yesterday's medical examination yielded a result that she was a very healthy child on the surface.

When she walked in, she quietly complimented the devices I used and how they worked, taking special interest in the light.

Of course she would. While we experimented with electricity, my lab assistants discovered that coiling a thin filament of wire and running electricity through it created light. The filament burned in many trials, but when we put the filament in a magically-suctioned vacuum bulb, the filament simply glowed. Truly a feat of science.

In any case, I promised to explain to her after the medical exam. She cursed at me in French. Seems she does not like information being withheld. I cannot blame her; I was the same in my youth.

I began by asking her for name, although I already knew. She said her name was Chara, meaning "Joy" in Greek. Wasn't there a human expression that had to do with Greek? There most likely was many. From what I could deduce from discarded manuscripts, the Greeks were quite the artistic bunch. I had a small library of their manuscripts.

I knew a little bit of French, I must say. So I asked her what languages she knew. She replied with English, Greek, Latin, and Italian, although she was most comfortable with her birth tongue of French. Both of us knowing English at a good level, I decided to use this language to speak with her. I explained that I was going to ask her a series of questions, that she could answer, or skip if she was uncomfortable. She agreed.

There were many questions I processed through. An echo transcript has been attached.

At the very end, I was about to pack up and send her back home, but she stopped me. She said I would tell her how the light worked.

For the first time in a while that didn't have a scientific breakthrough attached to it, I smiled and explained. And she understood! A child, at the young age of ten, could comprehend in about ten minutes of explanation something that took the King an hour! And she asked no questions, and did not display a single hint of confusion!

On a side note, she mentioned a date the day she fell: December 21, 1493 After Death. Confused by this, I asked her the meaning of the date (her birthday) what the current date was amongst humans, and showed her a monster calendar. She quickly and sketched a human-to-monster-calendar conversion table. Will ask the print shop to make a calendar based off of this.

Append: Human also left notebook with me.

**Attached Transcript: Q &A with patient Chara Dreemurr**

**Transcript recorded by Sans Gaster, lab assistant on-duty as of Ar 03 201[X] AE**

[Door opening]

G: Ah.

C: ...Salutations , Docteur. (Greetings, Doctor.)

G: Maintenant, maintenant, il n'y a pas besoin de manières comme ça...fermer la porte, allez-vous? (Now, now, there's no need for mannerisms like that...close the door, will you?)

[Door closing]

G: Parlez-vous anglais? (Do you speak English?)

C: ...Yes. Not as well as French, however.

G: We will have to make do, I suppose. My French is lackluster compared to my English. Suzy, mind getting our guest some snacks?

C: Snacks?

G: Things you would most likely enjoy. Tea. Cookies. A few candies. Some dried jerky. Nuts, as well.

[Plate on table]

G: Thank you, Suzy. I see you've taken interest in the light fixture.

C: Yes, it's very...interesting. How is it emitting light? There's nothing burning.

G: Do you wish for it to be explained?

C: Yes.

G: That, I will unfortunately have to save for afterwards.

C: Hmph. [quiet muttering, French in origin]

G: We must get this examination underway?

C: I see no medical instruments. Are you going to examine me with your "magic?"

G: Ah, that may be for a later date. And if I do so, it will be non-intrusive. Today is simply a series of questions. You may answer the question, or if you express discomfort towards the question, you may skip it. Although I would prefer if you answered a good few of them, I understand if I may have touched a sore point with a question, and you would prefer to skip it.

C: Running away from the painful truth simply leads to ignorance. And ignorance leads to conflict.

G: I cannot deny that. Let us begin.

[paper rustling]

G: So, what is your name?

C: Chara. It means "Joy" in Greek.

G: And surname?

C: Dreemurr.

G: No, I mean the one you had on the surface, if you had one.

C: I do not care for my family.

G: You wish to, ah, escape them?

C: No. My family is **dead.** All of them. Though, if I used my surname, it would be "Donadieu."

[silence]

G: I see. That gown you wore when you first fell: why did you fall? Was it a ceremony?

C: My church girl robes? No, there was no ceremony. I fell because I wanted to escape.

G: I thought you said you had no family to escape from.

C: I wished to escape from my people. You monsters do not know the true monsters on the surface. I promise they are not as kind as you all have been.

G: Ah. Okay. Do you wish to elaborate?

C: ...No.

G: So, tell me about your time keeping system. Is it similar to ours?

C: You measure the month by the zodiac. We measure it by the moon, since we can see it.

G: That is true. We measure the month by the zodiac because our magic can sense the current zodiac month. When you were brought here after you fell for injury treatment, you mentioned a "December 21."

C: Yes. That is the day I was born. We measure months by the moon and years by the stars, starting from the death of a religious figure.

G: Could you...perhaps draw your calendar?

[rustling of paper and pencil]

C: This writing utensil. What is it? Neither pen nor charcoal. The substance is too shiny.

G: Graphite. We had to save our wood for building houses, so we needed to adapt.

C: I assume the rubber cleans mistakes?

G: Yes.

[sketching]

G: Ah. Thank you.

C: I have also marked down important human holidays. If you could tell me today's date, I could possibly make a human-monster conversion table by tomorrow.

G: That is not necessary. I can have the print shop do it for you.

C: Print shop? Ah-printing press. Never mind. Is there more questions?

G: How are the humans doing right now? Any new leaders that have come to prominence, or of the sort?

C: Ha. Currently the world's as broken as a stained-glass mirror. Every fief squabbling for land, constant wars. All of them pledge Christian, but all of them anything but.

G: Fief? Christian?

C: The former is a keep, of sorts, where peasants farm and labor while the nobles do as they please. Terrible system, yet no one listens to a decent thinker with better ideas. They get laughed off too quickly. The latter is a religion that came into prominence...1,493 years ago. We measure years based after the founding. The religion itself is fine. The issue is that everyone listens to what they want to hear and ignores what they don't. If you ever find a book called the "Bible," that is what the religious text is.

G: I do believe I have one of those. Seemed like an interesting read, although work had always kept me from reading it.

C: I suggest you read it multiple times. Every read gives into new insights. More questions?

G: Yes. Is there any importance with that red booklet?

C: Did you look inside of it?

G: Will you answer my question if I answer yours?

C: Yes.

G: I did not look inside.

C: This is my life's work, not that I have had much of one up until now. It can be considered one of human societies' taboo books.

G: Why?

C: The ideas inside of it. Every page is pure taboo in human society, although it tells nothing but what I have perceived as truths. This alone could have earned me a voyage down Ebott.

G: I am...interested in this, to say the least.

C: You are a researcher, no? It is full of theorems, formulas, and philosophies I have derived from my own studies. In human society, a child is seen as a true inferior. And a person with red eyes is seen as somebody possibly influenced by the devil. If anyone knew about this booklet other than the ones I trust, I would be flagged as a heretic and witch, and burned.

[chair scooting]

G: Red eyes...are they normal in humans?

C: No.

G: Has anyone ever had a glimpse into that booklet?

C: Only one other human.

G: So you trust me?

C: You appear more curious and inquisitive than threatening. And I am sure your mind is open enough to the ideas inside.

[shuffling of heavy book]

C: Read it. Maybe. I don't mind if you do not. Are there any more questions?

G: No.

C: You have not explained to me how the lamp works.

G: Ah, you still hold me to that. Sans, turn off the recording device, will you?

-End of Transcript-

**Monster Year 201[X] AD (After Defeat)**

**Date: 5th of Taurus**

**Subject: The Red Notebook**

Chara did not lie. These ideas truly are quite...radical, even to me. I shudder to think how humanity would react, if they are so as Chara had described them. And in such vivid detail!

As a start, humans have been described as simple herds, following logic of higher-ups. The higher-ups, however, are corrupt and bend people to what they want, through propaganda and force. This idea, this rule through fear, ignorance, and oppression...the lacking of knowledge, denial of truth, to the point where even their teachers are illiterates who are clueless to what they teach. And nobility will form gangs, paying their gangs with bread. Just bread! Not even coin of any sort, just a meal! Something so plentiful in the Underground, the first piece of infrastructure the King set up, was the distribution of food.

Perhaps it was because of the cruel taxes Chara described, to fund...what? Lavish luxury was what Chara stated. Not even war, nor research. Just luxury. Swans, plump swans, with a death penalty if even a single feather of theirs was touched. Fountains so plentiful, if all of them were on, the water reserves would be drained in mere seconds.

Greed. Greed pride, and gluttony, overwhelmingly detailed in just the first ten pages! Chara did make a concession that she, being a member and servant, although a spiteful one, of the church. She also makes a concession that truly, this concept the church is built around is innately good, but humanity has twisted it so far that it appears evil. Yet, the fact that she was a member of the church, well fed, well clothed, and well cared for, did not save her from hatred. In fact, she was caught in the crossfire of it. The people hated her for being so well-groomed, to the extent that she could not walk the streets and breathe with even a slight sigh of relief if she did not carry that knife, even if she did occasionally sneak out pieces of her own meal to feed the masses. Her own caretakers treated her as scum, because she was an orphan and had red eyes. Despised by the majority, and despised by the powerful. She was always the one assigned to the most undesirable of tasks, despite having an unsuitable physique for such tasks. And, judging from the entries, she slowly, slowly grew more spiteful, not of herself, but of the world around her.

She did have her own relaxation time, and during that time she would delve into the sciences and arts. A section of the notebook is entirely devoted to accounting, where she would sell sketches and small scientific concoctions to people. Her studies in science are rudimentary at best, but it appears that most researchers of her time do not know any better. She continuously writes that she has "disproven" so-and-so's theory on basic physics misconceptions anyone should understand.

I am considering letting her study alongside us in the laboratory. I may be able to convince Toriel to let her do so.

As for this red notebook…I will try to write my thoughts about it down. I must write it all down. Perhaps then I will be able to piece together something from it. The psychoanalysis from this alone is…grim, at best. At its worst is a form of madness. But, as Chara described in the notebook as well, who is the insane one? Was it her, who both created this book that which disproves many misconceptions that humans seemed to have, and yet has ideas so hard to digest and so queer that I have to question her sanity, or is it the humans, the "normal" people who have these irrational fears? I fear that both are insane, both succumbed to a form of madness.

I need to stop. Yet, the red notebook, so alluring, so…interesting. I want to study it more. No. I cannot. The paranoia from the red notebook is cutting into my very essence. Monsters are made of hopes and dreams and magic, and the ideas contained in the book are possibly creating a feedback effect. It draws in, yet my better judgement tells me to run. Run, give the notebook back, and never look at it again.

I must stop. I am tired. I must sleep…

**Monster Year 201[X] AD (After Defeat)**

**Date: 6th of Taurus**

**Subject:**

**I spent all night awake.**

This notebook. Its references, its ideas, theories, everything. All of its sciences are rudimentary. That much we know. Yet the philosophies, theologies, metaphysics, I cannot help but ponder them.

I not only read through the whole notebook, but all of its references as well. The Book of Revelations. Genesis. Plato, Socrates, every single man and woman's work Chara mentioned.

I am not tired. I have never felt more awake. I must pry more. More into these theories. More into everything. Curiosity over all my judgements and morals.

I must go now. There are tests to run, Barriers to research. Souls to examine. And maybe, I will pay Chara a visit. But not in this state. Now, I need to…

[Log entry appended by Suzy Kid. Reason: Doctor fell asleep on the recording machine. Many pages of o's. The Doctor has been put to bed rest. Sans, Papyrus, and I have been entrusted with leading his work today.]

**Monster Year 201[X] AD (After Defeat)**

**Date: 6th of Taurus**

**Subject: Today's events, as transcribed by Suzy Kid**

Put Doctor to sleep. He stayed asleep on the lobby couch for the rest of the day, muttering. It appears his mental state is even more precarious than normal.

Asgore came to visit with Chara. We told Asgore Gaster was up late at night researching. Let Chara poke around. She seemed to add up the fact that Gaster spent all night reading that red notebook, which was placed in the low threat public access quarantine room for worker safety, although Chara does not know that.

Tried making soul substitute. Only succeeded in soul flavor substitute. Tried it with coffee today in substitution of coffee creamer. I prefer creamer, the soul flavor was a bitter lemon mixed with coffee. Musing: Do souls even have flavors?

Low progress today. Chara also looked through many of our lab notes. Asgore and Toriel approved of her studying with us.

The Doctor is right. There certainly is something special about her.


	5. Excerpt from the Red Notebook

Today I disproved one of the so-called “fundamental” laws of reality that we live in.  
It occurred to me when I was relaxing at the foot of the steps. When I almost dozed off, I almost dropped this notebook I am writing in, and a stick of charcoal I spent a fair amount of money on, still having many months left in its lifetime. It may be irrational for me to think this way, but I believe the village store is overpricing my writing supplies. Although I will not confront the owner over this petty matter of material wealth, unless the prices are too exorbitant. Perhaps, if I am so concerned, I should invest in attempting to make my own charcoal.  
While my dozing off was unsafe for me, and I chided myself over almost falling asleep in a public area, I noticed that when I went to catch my falling notebook and charcoal, both of them landed at the same time on my hands.  
I had to test this theory for myself. When I made this realization, I quickly ran to the stream to pick up two stones of different weights, because the old belief goes that lighter objects fall slower than heavier objects. So I picked up a small pebble, and a fist sized stone, two objects that should in theory have a noticeably different impact time according to their perceived laws.  
When I tested it, however, both objects landed at the same time. I repeated this process around five times, and when I was certain that this process was repeatable, took it back to my living quarters in the chapel building to test for myself.  
The result was quite peculiar. Yes, the feather falls slower than the stone. However, a feather-light stone falls just as fast as a stone that contains iron ore, a very heavy stone. And the feather’s path of motion in the air reminds me of how sails on a ship work, or how fabric in the stream ripples: with a certain resistance to it. To prove this theory of resistance, I begrudgingly had to rip a page out of this notebook, you will be missed dearly, and crumple it into a ball. And, as the test showed, it hit the ground with the stone.  
Maybe the still air we breathe is not as much of a ephemeral substance, but rather is much closer to water; fluid and provides resistance. I believe this is what allows the feather to fall slower than the stone, yet the charcoal falls just as fast as the notebook.  
This leads me to believe, pardon my heresy, although I fear if I ask for clemency now it is too late, that if my teachers, the nuns of the Church, were wrong about this, perhaps, then, I should doubt a little of everything they say.  
I would not doubt the fact that they could be wrong. In fact, I would relish in it. I would relish in their reactions when they are proven wrong. For I have made a discovery they could never accept.  
But what do they care? They only care that they get their special privileges for being officials of the Church. They are, hypocritically, cheap filth who steal from the poor with the guise of “God shall condemn thee to purgatory” should the peasantry not pay alms with what little they already have. Truly they are the ones who belong in hell, and truly the peasantry do not realize that they are being swindled. Human filth comes to mind, for even the common burglar states he is committing a crime, and outright opposes the law. In this sense, the burglar is more righteous than those people, for the burglar would be the one to first confess his sins. May I be stoned and hanged for this, but I will not recant even a single word, for they are true.  
And yet, my discovery and my heresy has led me to reach a conclusion: doubt everything. Doubt what is presented to you, and when you disprove that, doubt your findings. In this way only may my mind be open to the sins they commit, and deeming themselves “righteous folk.” They speak too much sophistry, and, from the divine words of God, only pick what soothes their itching ears and ignore the words that exist within the Bible that directly oppose their actions. They have turned their ears away from the truth, and have required people to hear their myths. But I am not satisfied by their jabber. I am not filled by their lies.  
For I truly am the kind they fear: neither bound by material wealth, nor an arbitrary code of ethics; I despise them both, although the former is required to be stockpiled to survive in this hell-bent world, and the latter serves as a useful mask, just like how they use it as their mask. I am the kind of person, when told to dig a hole with no tools, instead of using my hands to dig, and complain my toil is difficult, would create makeshift digging instruments to aid me. When faced with a wall, I am, or at least, will strive to be, the one to find a way under, over, around, or through it. And should none be successful, I will question whether or not I need to progress in this particular direction.  
Yet there is another important realization out of this: that there is almost never an absolute in this world. People thought because the stone fell quicker than the feather, therefore, creating an erroneous absolute, that heavier objects fall faster. Perhaps this could be applied elsewhere. Maybe this is not the only world that exists, that the myths and fables are not just mere myths, and that people, too, may not be simply absolutes, good or evil. For in the story of creation, was man not created good, but tainted by evil by the serpent, and as a result, knows both good and evil, and contain both? It pains me to see people who brand fellow men “good” or “evil” and leave it at that, in absolutes and only absolutes, just as the disproven today was, too, taken to be an “absolute.” This mindset of never questioning absolutes I take to be signs of a shallow, inflexible mind, close-minded and forever trapped in the dark. For true progress to happen, we must question all we know, and then, if we discover new things, question those as well.  
Perhaps my heresy should cease here for today. Candles, too are quite expensive for me, most likely overpriced as well, although I have procured many herbal remedies for sale in three days to the next traveling merchant caravan. They, at least, know a good medicine, or trust me enough to make good remedies for minor ailments such as coughs, fevers, sore throats, and poultices for wounds. And, one may be willing to teach me how to make my own charcoal, and possibly light sources.  
[The rest of this page is filled with rough sketches of falling objects.]


End file.
